Lessons I Learned from My Brother

           Since the day my brother’s spirit left this earth I have been reflecting on how much he has taught me and influenced my life. As my older brother he was there since day one for me and has been teaching me my whole life. The following are only a simple list of the things he taught me the 22 years I got to know him.

What a Good Burger Is

            Growing up in southern California going to In-N-Out was the norm to get a decent burger. It was both cheap and delicious. What more could you ask for? There isn’t anything you could compare it to and Muri always made sure to remind us of that. When my family moved to Oregon ten years ago we were heart broken because we didn’t have an In-N-Out remotely close to us. A year later Muri moved to Oregon with us and he was also devastated. We always made trips down to California to see my older sister and extended family. For the first couple times Muri would travel with us and we would always make sure to stop at the first In-N-Out in Redding, California. In recent years Muri wasn’t able to travel to California due to other commitments in his life but still dreamed of eating a double double with a side of fries and a coke. A couple days before he passed away I talked with him on the phone. Besides his excitement for me because I got my first iPhone, he told me about his trip to Reno this past summer. He went to Reno for work and he was excited because there was an In-N-Out there. He told me he walked 2 miles to the nearest In-N-Out and it was completely worth it as soon as he took a bite of that double double. He was also looking forward to the traveling down to Medford because they just opened In-N-Out there. Now when I go get In-N-Out all I would think is how proud Muri would be that I got a decent burger.

Mint n Chip Ice Cream is Life

            Every since I could remember going to Rite Aid and getting Thrifty ice cream was a thing in my family. I first asked for strawberry but then I started to get what Muri always had, mint n chip. From then on it was always mint n chip ice cream. Eventually it was the only flavor that all my siblings would get. Growing up a half gallon of mint n chip ice cream would go so fast in my house. It was literally gone the next day. Even still today it is my go to option when I get ice cream and it’s all because of Muri.

Checking Your Oil is Necessary

            I remember 3 years ago my little sister and I shared a car for a summer. Eventually that car was the one I would bring to college. Before I came to school a couple friends and I were going to attend a young single adult conference in Eugene, Oregon. I was going to drive the car all the way done there for the weekend. Before I left Muri checked everything in the car to make sure it was ready for the trip. He went to check the oil and noticed there was hardly any. He then proceeded to give my sister and I a lecture of how important it was to check the oil in a car and taught us how to put more oil when needed. It was different to hear a lecture coming from him than my parents but ever since then checking my oil has become a norm for me. Whenever I make trips on the freeway especially up to Salt Lake I always make sure to check my oil before and after. I learned over the years that some people don't even know how to check their oil. My brother taught me well. Muri was also the one who I would call whenever I had car problems. Sometimes all he could do was calm me down when I was freaking out over something simple or direct me to the right place for help. But he was always willing to help me despite the situation he was in. 

Music is Life

            My older siblings have influenced a lot of my music preferences, which is why I listen to a lot of alternative and punk from the 90’s and early 2000’s. I still remember the day when I was walking past my brother’s room and I heard the coolest song I have ever heard in my 7 years of existence. It was the first time I heard “All the Small Things” by Blink 182. It was as though the music heaven opened for me. I would ask Muri to play it over and over again. Since then you can find Linkin Park, Blink 182, Yellowcard, Sum 41 and so many others in my music library. Even up to his last day on earth he was still influencing my music choices. Over the past couple months Nirvana has been coming up on my Pandora stations. At first I skipped the songs but I started listening because I remembered it was one of Muri’s favorite bands. I have enjoyed all the other bands he listened to so why not this one? Next thing I know I’m rocking out to Nirvana at the gym.

Band is Life

            The reason I started band was because of Muri. I wanted to play the clarinet just like my older brother and when opportunity came in the 4^th grade I got a hold of his old clarinet and started band class. As the little sister I went wherever my mom went which meant I went to all my brother’s band concerts. He was really passionate for band up until high school but even then he was always playing the guitar. I would hear him playing his guitar in his room all the time. I remember the Christmas he received his red electric guitar and how excited he was for it. I started to learn the guitar because I wanted to play like him but in reality I’m terrible at it. 

For the past 13 years I have participated in various band programs wherever I have been at for school. I am in my 5^th year of marching band at BYU and it’s all because of Muri’s example of love and passion for band. I’m pretty sure if he stuck with band in high school he would have gotten to the point where I am at now. This season I will be thinking of him as I take the field each game.

Christ like Love

            I think the most important thing my brother has taught me is Christ like love. For half my life my brother wasn’t active in church but that didn’t mean he wasn’t teaching me gospel principles. In the past four years I saw it especially and it was because of his son. The sacrifice he made to provide for his wife and son made me so proud to call him my brother. He has been an amazing example of what parent should be. My parents of course are wonderful examples but it’s different to see it from your sibling. Recently it was my nephew’s 3^rd birthday and my brother wanted to get him the perfect present, a battery powered car. My sister in law and brother did not have the money for such gift so my brother sold one of his most prized possessions, his guitar. He loved that guitar and would play it every chance he got but he gave it up to provide something for his son that would bring him happiness. That to me is Christ like love. I just hope I could be a great parent as he was.

"But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day it shall be well with him. 

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."

Moroni 7:47-48

I know one day I will be with Muri again as an eternal family. It has been hard these past couple of weeks and I know it will be hard for the rest of my earthly life. I am so thankful that the restored gospel is in my life because I have the knowledge and testimony of the plan of salvation. This mortal life we are living is only a snippet compared to our eternal existence. I will have so much time after this earthly life to be with my brother. He was looking forward on seeing me graduate from college in April and I know he will be there even if I can't see him physically. I'm going to make sure I make him proud as I continue to follow my dreams wherever they may lead me. I love you big brother.