Some Thoughts

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future. I am planning to graduate college in two years. That means in two years I will be going out in the real world and living a different life. It's kinda hitting me that I need to figure out what career I am going to pursue. This time four years ago I wasn't thinking about a job or life after college. I'm scared to be honest about the future. Although I am happy I am graduating within 4 years. Some people do an average of 5 years for their undergrad. Some thoughts that have been running my mind has been will I have job when I graduate? Where will I live? Will I be married? Will I regret some things I did or did not do in college? Those are some things that have been running through my head the past days. One thing for sure I am going to pursue my dream no matter what they may be and I am not going to let anyone or anything get in my way. Someone has already tried to stop my dreams and I had to let go but I'm not afraid to do it again. 

Defining a Generation

Recently I have started watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. The more I watch of it the more I realize that is defines my years in high school. Sounds silly right? Well first of all the life that is portrayed in the show is not the life I had in high school or now or ever will. It's more like what was in style, the music during my freshman year and what ideas where going around during high school at the time. It's weird how a show, movie, song or trend could say so much about the time you experienced in those so called wonderful years of high school. It's been almost two years since I have left the halls of McKay and almost tow years since I was happy that I have been gone. Now that I am in college I'm wondering show, movie or trend will define my college years. What ideas will influence my thinking and actions. In high school the idea having someone close to me was the thing. Maybe that's why I longed to have a guy next to me. Now realize that a boy isn't everything. A boy doesn't define you but rather distract you at times. Lets just say I have been learning. Okay back to Gossip Girl defining my generation....so the show started my freshman year of high school and for some reason I never followed it. I remember watching the first episode but I guess I had better things to do. Freshman year....dang that's a long time ago...that's six years ago. Oh crap six years ago I was 14. Oh crap this year I'm going to be 20. Okay getting off the subject. Point is that Gossip Girl as silly as it is has a lot of aspects of my early high school years that I have seen so far. In the episode I just finished watching the show ended with the song Apologize by One Republic. I remember freshman year that was a big hit. I remember at a pep assembly the dance team did a routine to it. I remember listening it on the radio nonstop. I remember having it on ipod. Now where is it? Is it the song we skip when it comes on shuffle. The song we ignore when it comes on the radio. Do we ignore little things from our past so often? Sure it's one song but what other things like goals, aspirations, or even friends. I have been thinking a lot about freshman year now. I am going to be honest freshman year was the worst years of high school. I was figuring who were my friends and who I was. It was a year of discovering new things and not to mention a new school. But hey I survived. I'm in college now! There were things I wish I did and did not do freshman year. Oh thinking about the past. Okay enough of this I need to sleep. So goodnight my loves. As Gossip Girl would say.....you know you love me xoxo Gossip Girl.  

Recently....

So what has been going on in my life lately? School, tests, work and not feeling myself. Lately I have been dwelling in the past and it has just gotten me down. I hate this feeling! What am I suppose to do? I have been caught up in the way things use to be that I haven't been able to think positive about the future. I decided that I'm going to make some changes in my life. 

First thing first. Look forward. If today happens to be a great day and toward tomorrow and good things that could happen and make those good things happen. Don't dwell on the negative things today because tomorrow you can't enjoy the good things. I rather optimistic about tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year. Many good things are in store for me but they are going to a while. 

Second, feel confident. I'm going to attack each day with confidence that will even scare me. I'm going to get through those bad days as if they were a piece of cake. When I have test, I'm going to enter that testing center like I own it and come out as if I made that test cry. 

Thirdly, take chances. One thing about me is that I get scared when taking risks. I have to cut that crap out. I have to not be afraid of trying new things or talking new people. Who knows maybe taking chances will take me places one day. 

Wish me luck on my new approach in life. I can't let one test, one bad event or a stressful day get in my way of being happy. Just have to take one day at a time.