Going on 20, young, and free

So recently I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do in the coming years. First I was like museum work but now I am leaning more to education. I know I am not expected to know exactly what I want to do now. I am barley going to turn 20 and I still have no clue where I will be in 5 years. But after much thinking and pondering I have come to the conclusion to become an educator. I have always wanted to be a teacher but always put it to the side. Now I am going to pursue it. I'm not going to change my major which is currently American Studies but I am going to try to explore more classes that deal with child development and education. I want to then go off to graduate school and receive a masters in teaching. These ideas have come to mind all at once. I don't know exactly where I would be going to graduate school yet but I think I have an idea of what I want to do after graduation. I'm going to do this. I know I can. I just have to have faith that it would work out in the end. President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, "“It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.” 

New Month!

It's officially March and in 18 days it will be Spring. I don't that Utah will catch up through. The weather here can be pretty crazy at times. I just want it to be warm enough to wear shorts and flip flops. On the bright side I am half way through the semester. I want it to be my break!!! 

I know I haven't blogged in a while but I have been busy. I'm working on a special post that will be up hopefully in the next couple of weeks. Although I do want to post something that I have recently written a paper on. Maybe tomorrow I will post it Anyways. I am off to get ready for bed. Buenas noches my friend.  

Some Thoughts

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future. I am planning to graduate college in two years. That means in two years I will be going out in the real world and living a different life. It's kinda hitting me that I need to figure out what career I am going to pursue. This time four years ago I wasn't thinking about a job or life after college. I'm scared to be honest about the future. Although I am happy I am graduating within 4 years. Some people do an average of 5 years for their undergrad. Some thoughts that have been running my mind has been will I have job when I graduate? Where will I live? Will I be married? Will I regret some things I did or did not do in college? Those are some things that have been running through my head the past days. One thing for sure I am going to pursue my dream no matter what they may be and I am not going to let anyone or anything get in my way. Someone has already tried to stop my dreams and I had to let go but I'm not afraid to do it again. 

Defining a Generation

Recently I have started watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. The more I watch of it the more I realize that is defines my years in high school. Sounds silly right? Well first of all the life that is portrayed in the show is not the life I had in high school or now or ever will. It's more like what was in style, the music during my freshman year and what ideas where going around during high school at the time. It's weird how a show, movie, song or trend could say so much about the time you experienced in those so called wonderful years of high school. It's been almost two years since I have left the halls of McKay and almost tow years since I was happy that I have been gone. Now that I am in college I'm wondering show, movie or trend will define my college years. What ideas will influence my thinking and actions. In high school the idea having someone close to me was the thing. Maybe that's why I longed to have a guy next to me. Now realize that a boy isn't everything. A boy doesn't define you but rather distract you at times. Lets just say I have been learning. Okay back to Gossip Girl defining my generation....so the show started my freshman year of high school and for some reason I never followed it. I remember watching the first episode but I guess I had better things to do. Freshman year....dang that's a long time ago...that's six years ago. Oh crap six years ago I was 14. Oh crap this year I'm going to be 20. Okay getting off the subject. Point is that Gossip Girl as silly as it is has a lot of aspects of my early high school years that I have seen so far. In the episode I just finished watching the show ended with the song Apologize by One Republic. I remember freshman year that was a big hit. I remember at a pep assembly the dance team did a routine to it. I remember listening it on the radio nonstop. I remember having it on ipod. Now where is it? Is it the song we skip when it comes on shuffle. The song we ignore when it comes on the radio. Do we ignore little things from our past so often? Sure it's one song but what other things like goals, aspirations, or even friends. I have been thinking a lot about freshman year now. I am going to be honest freshman year was the worst years of high school. I was figuring who were my friends and who I was. It was a year of discovering new things and not to mention a new school. But hey I survived. I'm in college now! There were things I wish I did and did not do freshman year. Oh thinking about the past. Okay enough of this I need to sleep. So goodnight my loves. As Gossip Girl would say.....you know you love me xoxo Gossip Girl.  

Recently....

So what has been going on in my life lately? School, tests, work and not feeling myself. Lately I have been dwelling in the past and it has just gotten me down. I hate this feeling! What am I suppose to do? I have been caught up in the way things use to be that I haven't been able to think positive about the future. I decided that I'm going to make some changes in my life. 

First thing first. Look forward. If today happens to be a great day and toward tomorrow and good things that could happen and make those good things happen. Don't dwell on the negative things today because tomorrow you can't enjoy the good things. I rather optimistic about tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year. Many good things are in store for me but they are going to a while. 

Second, feel confident. I'm going to attack each day with confidence that will even scare me. I'm going to get through those bad days as if they were a piece of cake. When I have test, I'm going to enter that testing center like I own it and come out as if I made that test cry. 

Thirdly, take chances. One thing about me is that I get scared when taking risks. I have to cut that crap out. I have to not be afraid of trying new things or talking new people. Who knows maybe taking chances will take me places one day. 

Wish me luck on my new approach in life. I can't let one test, one bad event or a stressful day get in my way of being happy. Just have to take one day at a time. 

New Year, New Semester, New Me?

I have been a horrible blogger. I have not blogged in weeks and so much has happened! I got back to Utah, started the semester, started a new job, and I'm trying to change some habits. You can say I have been busy. 

Winter semester started out with really cold weather here in Provo. When I go back to Utah my windshield wipers were frozen. I felt like I was a walking popsicle. Over the past couple of weeks I have been trying to survive school, work and my so called life. It has been filled with endless nights, ice cream stains, confused feelings, and one missed class. 

Work you may ask? Yes I finally got a job this semester! You can say that I'm lunch lady which is the truth. I work at the Missionary Training Center just down a ways down from school. At first I was like this is going to "fun" but you know what it's not that bad. I have only slipped one plate, knocked out about 8 paper bowls, almost slipped on just mopped floors (that I mopped!) and dropped pasta sauce on my shoes. Overall I think it's going pretty good. The first day I worked I saw two people I knew which was awkward and really funny. Oh well. 

School? It's school. What else is there to say. I attend classes and bought books that make me cry when I look at the cost. I say I hate one class one day and the next day I say I love it. I ask myself what am I doing with my life but then I think at least I'm trying. There. Enough said. 

New year, new me? Yes you can count on that! So I am on a path to change myself but in a good way! I want to be able to tackle this year with more confidence in myself and be more spontaneous. So far I have tried and failed to get a boys attention but you know what who cares? At least I tried. I bought re lipstick the other day for the first time. I had to remind myself new year, new me. I am working to change my studying habits and stop procrastination. Not to mention doing a little thing called saving money maybe for a summer trip. Last but not least I'm trying to have a healthier lifestyle and yes that means maybe dropping a few pounds. 

Okay my fellow readers I'm off. Remember, new year, new me.   

2012: A Year to Remember

So the year 2012 has come to an end and 2013 has began. I just want to take some time to reflect on the past year. I learned a lot of things, had many experiences, and had major changes in my life. 

Something I learned was to remember who I am. During winter semester I had a low point that I wish to never go through again. At one point I just wanted to give up. Feeling alone in a huge university campus is probably one of the worst feelings. I tried to ignore how I was feeling at first but that didn't work. I began reflecting on who I was and what my purpose was. My purpose at school that is. Those thoughts helped me get through the semester thankfully. 

Another major thing of 2012 was letting go of someone in my life. The time finally came and I realized what I wanted in my future. So what did I learn from that? Heartbreak. Sure it hurts at first but in the end you realize you made the right choice. For a long a time I fooled myself. It took some to learn that but I am thankfully I did. It was probably one of the most painful things of the year but it was the one change which taught me a lot. It taught me I could do hard things. It taught me I can do things alone. It taught me I had strength. But most importantly it reminded me of what I really wanted in my future.

2012 was a year I learned about the power of friendship. I made new friends in the past year and also reconnected with old friends. I spent last summer surrounded by my friends and it was by far the best summer so far. Throughout the year when things went sour in my life my friends were there to help me get through it. Especially when I was away from home. 

I learned to take chances and to hope for the best. Sometimes those chances turned out differently than I expected but I learned to move on. Something that I was scared of before was letting myself do things I have never done and well this year I guess I just let myself to the impossible. 

Now the question is what is going to happen in 2013? I'm looking forward to what this year has in store for me. A lot of things could happen but I'm hoping for the best. There are a lot of things I want to do this year and this time I'm going to take more chances. You know live a little. In 2012 there was "YOLO" but this year I'm going to see it as there's only one 2013. Wish me luck.