Here comes the commotion....

The US Supreme Court is hearing both sides of Prop 8 now. There is a lot of heated conversations on facebook and twitter. I have heard both sides of the argument especially from those very strong politically right Mormons here in Utah. 

So I'm just going to say my opinion. It's my blog so I can say whatever I want. I support gay marriage. If someone loves a person and wants to be have their relationship legal as in marriage, it's their choice. It's not my choice who they want to spend their life with. I will deal with my own love life (if I had one ha) and they can deal with theirs. I don't want to take away a person's right just because of their sexual orientation. Oh and they should be respected in the same manner as you want to be respected. In the end it's their life and their decisions, not mine. I will just butt out.   

I know not many people will agree with me but it's a time where issues are difficult to understand and side with. I am still seeing where I land on some issues.  

As for me I am not just seeking marriage in my future but a celestial marriage. I see there are two marriages in our world today (from an LDS perspective), civil and celestial marriages. I know in some countries members of the church have to be married civilly before they have a temple marriage/sealing/celestial marriage. A celestial marriage is ordained by God and is done in the House of the Lord through Priesthood power. A civil marriage is done by a person who is licensed to do so. Hey you can go downtown and just get married if you want or go to Vegas.  

For me I know what I need to do to attain a celestial marriage and that is my own personal life. As for someone else's life that is for them to deal with. 

Marriage to some people means a union or legal contract between a man and women who are then husband and wife. Other people see marriage as a legal contract between two people who are committed to each other. I for one see it as civil marriage and celestial marriage. One is ordained by God. The other is done by man. 

But hey that is my opinion and beliefs. You might believe something different and this is totally fine. We are entitled to our own opinion. 

My Encounter with the Humanities

I remember vividly the day when I did not see music the same way but I saw music as way to tell a story and I was the story teller. My band director handed out a new piece of music we will play at our last band concert of the year, all I saw were notes on a piece of paper that did not seem hard to play but I was wrong. The piece was entitled An American Elegy by Frank Ticheli and it would forever change my life.

Before I came across the piece during my sophomore year of high school I saw music as just notes on manuscript and me as just a musician who played what they saw on the page. Sadly I had been playing music this way for over eight years and looked over music’s true meaning. When it came to rehearse An American Elegy our band director discussed with us the piece’s meaning and purpose, it was to honor those who lost their lives and survived Columbine. More remarkable that I saw was we were playing on the 10th anniversary of the tragic shooting. The country was remembering a time when lives were lost and saved.

As I began to really look at the music I did not see notes anymore I saw hope, courage and strength. I remember I wasn’t looking forward to the piece because I was playing their clarinet and was not expecting to have any important parts and because it was a small band I was the only one playing the part. As we continued to rehearse the piece every day I noticed I did have an important part where I was playing and it was up to me to keep the emotion of the piece to keep flowing. I began to connect with the music and I felt what the composer was trying to say.


Ticheli wrote the piece in memory who lost their lives in a tradgey and honor those who survived for their strength. I realized what the music said. It told a story and I was the storyteller. As a musician it was my responsibility to describe what the composer wrote to the audience.

The day came for the concert. I felt ready to tell the room full of people what Ticheli wanted to say about of the tragic incident. As my band director lifted up his hand I knew it was time to connect one last time to the piece. The low instruments started the band off, the emotion began to build, one by one each section came in and then we were off to an ever changing moment. The clarinets were in unison, one with another revealing the strength those high school students had ten years prior. The brass expressed the courage the students and teachers had. The band together told the audience the faith that was present at Columbine that April day. Each instrument and musician sounded as one expressing Ticheli’s feelings. The flute, clarinet, horn and euphonium express the unity within the community of Columbine high school. Then the Columbine’s Alma Mater began to play and the tension grew and my emotions where going in different directions. Then in a distance a trumpet is heard playing, a heroic trumpet. At that moment I felt hope and I couldn’t contain myself. It was probably the first time I cried at the band concert. Never before had I saw or heard music in such a matter. There was never a time before where I piece of music made me feel as An American Elegy did. At the end of the piece I felt as though I gave all I had to this piece of music. There weren’t that many notes or hard phrases in the piece but it was the most difficult piece I had ever played because I took the time to look at as a story with emotion and not just notes on a piece of paper.

After that day I didn’t see myself in the same way anymore and I didn’t see music in the same way either. Music is not simply notes on a piece of paper with musical notions that the composer randomly put it. Music is a way for the composer to reveal a thought, emotions or a story. As a musician it was my responsibility to express what he author intended. After performing An American Elegy I never said a piece of music the same way. When new music was handed out to me I took the time to listen to recordings and really understand what the composer intended. Every piece of music as an intention. Four years later I still feel moved when I hear An American Elegy and I still get chills when I hear it. To this day I see every piece of music as a story. When I sing a hymn at church I try to connect with author and their message. When I get handed a new piece of music in band I listen and feel to understand what I need to express. Music is not just different notes and pitches mixed together but an expression of inner feelings and emotions that need to be told.

**This was a paper I wrote for one of my classes and thought I would share it. I hope you have had something change your lives like this song did for me. Maybe it wasn't a song. Maybe it was a poem, an art piece, a film or literature. I hope you reflect upon how the humanities have influenced your life. I am deeply grateful to have had the opportunity to perform this piece.

Going on 20, young, and free

So recently I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do in the coming years. First I was like museum work but now I am leaning more to education. I know I am not expected to know exactly what I want to do now. I am barley going to turn 20 and I still have no clue where I will be in 5 years. But after much thinking and pondering I have come to the conclusion to become an educator. I have always wanted to be a teacher but always put it to the side. Now I am going to pursue it. I'm not going to change my major which is currently American Studies but I am going to try to explore more classes that deal with child development and education. I want to then go off to graduate school and receive a masters in teaching. These ideas have come to mind all at once. I don't know exactly where I would be going to graduate school yet but I think I have an idea of what I want to do after graduation. I'm going to do this. I know I can. I just have to have faith that it would work out in the end. President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, "“It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.” 

New Month!

It's officially March and in 18 days it will be Spring. I don't that Utah will catch up through. The weather here can be pretty crazy at times. I just want it to be warm enough to wear shorts and flip flops. On the bright side I am half way through the semester. I want it to be my break!!! 

I know I haven't blogged in a while but I have been busy. I'm working on a special post that will be up hopefully in the next couple of weeks. Although I do want to post something that I have recently written a paper on. Maybe tomorrow I will post it Anyways. I am off to get ready for bed. Buenas noches my friend.  

Some Thoughts

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future. I am planning to graduate college in two years. That means in two years I will be going out in the real world and living a different life. It's kinda hitting me that I need to figure out what career I am going to pursue. This time four years ago I wasn't thinking about a job or life after college. I'm scared to be honest about the future. Although I am happy I am graduating within 4 years. Some people do an average of 5 years for their undergrad. Some thoughts that have been running my mind has been will I have job when I graduate? Where will I live? Will I be married? Will I regret some things I did or did not do in college? Those are some things that have been running through my head the past days. One thing for sure I am going to pursue my dream no matter what they may be and I am not going to let anyone or anything get in my way. Someone has already tried to stop my dreams and I had to let go but I'm not afraid to do it again. 

Defining a Generation

Recently I have started watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. The more I watch of it the more I realize that is defines my years in high school. Sounds silly right? Well first of all the life that is portrayed in the show is not the life I had in high school or now or ever will. It's more like what was in style, the music during my freshman year and what ideas where going around during high school at the time. It's weird how a show, movie, song or trend could say so much about the time you experienced in those so called wonderful years of high school. It's been almost two years since I have left the halls of McKay and almost tow years since I was happy that I have been gone. Now that I am in college I'm wondering show, movie or trend will define my college years. What ideas will influence my thinking and actions. In high school the idea having someone close to me was the thing. Maybe that's why I longed to have a guy next to me. Now realize that a boy isn't everything. A boy doesn't define you but rather distract you at times. Lets just say I have been learning. Okay back to Gossip Girl defining my generation....so the show started my freshman year of high school and for some reason I never followed it. I remember watching the first episode but I guess I had better things to do. Freshman year....dang that's a long time ago...that's six years ago. Oh crap six years ago I was 14. Oh crap this year I'm going to be 20. Okay getting off the subject. Point is that Gossip Girl as silly as it is has a lot of aspects of my early high school years that I have seen so far. In the episode I just finished watching the show ended with the song Apologize by One Republic. I remember freshman year that was a big hit. I remember at a pep assembly the dance team did a routine to it. I remember listening it on the radio nonstop. I remember having it on ipod. Now where is it? Is it the song we skip when it comes on shuffle. The song we ignore when it comes on the radio. Do we ignore little things from our past so often? Sure it's one song but what other things like goals, aspirations, or even friends. I have been thinking a lot about freshman year now. I am going to be honest freshman year was the worst years of high school. I was figuring who were my friends and who I was. It was a year of discovering new things and not to mention a new school. But hey I survived. I'm in college now! There were things I wish I did and did not do freshman year. Oh thinking about the past. Okay enough of this I need to sleep. So goodnight my loves. As Gossip Girl would say.....you know you love me xoxo Gossip Girl.  

Recently....

So what has been going on in my life lately? School, tests, work and not feeling myself. Lately I have been dwelling in the past and it has just gotten me down. I hate this feeling! What am I suppose to do? I have been caught up in the way things use to be that I haven't been able to think positive about the future. I decided that I'm going to make some changes in my life. 

First thing first. Look forward. If today happens to be a great day and toward tomorrow and good things that could happen and make those good things happen. Don't dwell on the negative things today because tomorrow you can't enjoy the good things. I rather optimistic about tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year. Many good things are in store for me but they are going to a while. 

Second, feel confident. I'm going to attack each day with confidence that will even scare me. I'm going to get through those bad days as if they were a piece of cake. When I have test, I'm going to enter that testing center like I own it and come out as if I made that test cry. 

Thirdly, take chances. One thing about me is that I get scared when taking risks. I have to cut that crap out. I have to not be afraid of trying new things or talking new people. Who knows maybe taking chances will take me places one day. 

Wish me luck on my new approach in life. I can't let one test, one bad event or a stressful day get in my way of being happy. Just have to take one day at a time.