The Art of Makeup

I posted this picture about two weeks ago...

People on Facebook began to freak out. Asking me what happened to me. I was sitting at my computer laughing. Everyone thought it was real which is exactly what I was going for. Although people probably thought my friend who posted "YESSSSSS...love it!" was crazy but I saw it as a compliment. I walked around campus looking beat up and my peers were just staring I guess in shock and confusion. In one of my classes this girl came up to me saying, "Oh my gosh what happened to you!! Are you okay?!?!?!? Does it hurt!!!!". I started laughing and she looked confused until I told her it was makeup. I walked home like this and finally decided to take it off....

 

I had to use floss to take off the putty. And there you go! I clean, happy, not beat up face! For that day my assignment in my theater makeup class we had to do three different injuries. Some girls in my class did a bullet hole, open wounds, burns, an iron burn (very creative) and other injuries. It was probably my favorite day so far in makeup class. I was very pleased with my nose. During the practice day my nose would not form. I kept having trouble with it and wanted to give up but I was determined to make a "wonderful" broken nose. Graded day finally came and my nose took the longest. I struggled at the beginning but I was able to create a really "good" broken nose. It was hard also after I formed it because the putty was much lighter than my skin tone, hence all the red I put around it. The cut on the nose was something extra the TA suggested which made it more realistic. My teacher was very impressed with my nose and I received a very good score on my assignment. I then walked around campus showing off my "art".  

Some of my lovely tools. It's quiet amazing what you can do with makeup besides your everyday glam looks. I am definitely happy that I took this makeup class. Learning life skills for sure.

The following week it was HALLOWEEN! Perfect timing to use my new skills. I decided to go for a "zombie" look. It was more like using different techniques that were fun to do. I then created this....

One thing I did different was use liquid latex and tissues to create texture on my face. At first I was scared to use liquid latex. In class we used it to create wrinkles and we aged ourselves about 10 years (it was freaky). I got the hand of it and started to have fun with it. I didn't go the whole day with this look because I didn't want to show up to class with a torn up face. But I did go to marching band practice looking wonderful. On the drive there whenever I was at a red light people in the car over and stared and I stared back. I guess I was just that good looking that day. 

After marching band practice a friend wanted me to do his makeup similar to mine. I only had less than 30 minutes!! I rushed home got my "station" ready. I usually give myself at least an hour because I like to take my time but I think it turned out pretty good. You be the judge.

He was a dancing zombie!

Although it was been fun playing with putty and liquid latex and making myself look creepy I think I will stick to my everyday makeup. If I want to experiment I will do a bright lip or change up my eye shadow but not give myself a black eye or broken nose. 

I'm really stoked for my next assignment! Let's just say I will be celebrating Dia de los Muertos a little late this year...

The Dream of a Daughter of Immigrants

My last post was about being different and yes sometimes it can be hard but there are sometimes being different can be a good thing. I different views, experiences and aspirations but that what makes us different and unique. I am happy that I am a Mexican American, first generation college student, and on the path to discovering myself. My family's background has helped me grow to the person I am today and I know will help me for the rest of my life. I guess I didn't realize how much of an influence my heritage had on me until I got to college. My parents came did not just come to this country as immigrants but as dreamers.     

I have probably one the most interesting majors anyone can study, American Studies. I basically study the American experience through history, sociology, English, political science, economics, religion and even music. Last fall I took the American Studies class every American Studies student has to take. There was a lot of reading and some days I had to force myself to say awake. Despite my anger toward it at times I have to say that class was an eye opener for me. Our major paper (half our grade or so) was about the American Dream. We can discuss the American Dream from any angle and we had to interview people as part of our paper. I was struggling to find a subtopic for my paper. Then I thought about it! How about write my paper from people who came to this country to achieve the American Dream recently, then the next generation and the next generation. Many stories we read about the American Dream are from those from early America. I have learned that the American Dream lives in everyone, everyone in this country and in each generation. 

After writing my paper I learned more about myself and the reason I was here at BYU. I am living the American Dream my grandfather envisioned over 30 years ago. He wanted his children to be educated and if they couldn't at the time then their children. There were more opportunities in this country and my grandfather wanted a better life for his family. My mother and father were not able to attend college but that didn't stop them from raising a family that focused a lot on education. They wanted their children to attend college and have a better life than they did. My parents have worked so hard for my siblings and I to have a comfortable living environment growing up while we prepared ourselves to go out in the world and prepare for our professional lives. I remember growing up my mother always took us to the library.I guess you can say my love of books is because my mother always emphasized reading whether she read to us or we read to her. Besides our academic goals my parents wanted us to be nourished in some other form, music. I was 6 years old when I started piano lessons. I loved it. In 4th grade I started band playing clarinet. In 8th grade I picked up the alto and tenor saxophone in jazz band. In high school I did marching band, wind ensemble, jazz band, pep band and the pit band for the musicals. And you know what my mother went to every singe one of my concerts. I think she was late to one of my concerts in high school. Throughout high school they pushed me to do my best academically and supported in my other extracurriculars.  When I said I wanted to go to Oregon State and I was interviewed for a scholarship they took me to OSU even though they wanted me to go to BYU. I ended up at BYU anyways. Although they can't fully financial support me through college they support me in other aspects. They push me to accomplish things and make sure that I have all the support I need. Sometimes when things get tough I have to think of why I'm here at school. Why I'm putting myself through stressful school work, at times loneliness and even lack of sleep. I want to live the dream. My dream. My parents' dream. My grandfather's dream.

I am living the 21st century American Dream. I come from low income family, immigrant parents, and I'm a first generation college student. I'm striving everyday to reach that dream. I want to finish college, start a career and contribute to society. It may change slightly over the years but all I know is that I want to achieve great things. My American Dream may be slightly different than my grandfather's or my parents' but I know that I am on the path to achieve great things. I am so thankful my grandfather brought his family to this country because if he didn't I wouldn't be where I am now. Right now there is so much debate over immigration and undocumented young adults who can't work but have the education to do so. They just want to live the American Dream too. I wish some people would take a step back and look through the eyes of an immigrant, of their children and their families to see what they truly desire. They won't see crime, drugs or failure. They would see ambition, courage, strength and sacrifice.  Yes some people come to this country for other reasons. But those who really do seek the American Dream come here with a true purpose. A purpose to not just change their life but their posterity's life. 

My grandfather came to this country when things got tough in Mexico and when the spirit prompted him that it was finally time to bring his family to the United States. I interviewed my grandfather last here and he had this to say about the American Dream, "The reason why I came to the United States was because it is much easier (here) to get an education from a university or school for the whole world. That’s the main reason that we came here, not for me but for your mom, her brothers, and everyone. That’s the reason we came to the United States." I am trying everyday to fulfill not just my American Dream but my grandfather's American Dream. I'm in college. I'm trying hard everyday to accomplish my dream along with his. I just hope that he could be at my college graduation one day and see the fruits of his labor. 

Despite of a different era the American Dream is alive in Americans today. It does not have to be 1800s at Ellis Island for the American Dream to enter our country. The dream is here. We all have a dream withing us. My dream and it's purpose may be different than yours but we each have a story. Let me ask you, what is your dream? Are you living your dream? If not when are you going too?      

Being the Brown Girl

Ever since I could remember I have had the same morning routine. Wake up, do my hair, get dress, eat breakfast and then I am off to school. It has been like that from elementary school up until now in college. I would then go to school. I would learn new things, visit with friends, complete assignments, and overall improve the person I was the day before. Besides my assignments and exceptions there is only one major difference now, I am sometimes the only minority in my class. Growing up in Southern California I was surrounded by Hispanics. My classes in elementary school had many ESL students which I was part of at one point. Technically English is my second language but I don't even speak Spanish much now or when I was in grade school. When there were parties in school parents would bring Mexican candy and other goodies. It wasn't rare to hear Mexican music on a Saturday night down the street. More than half the playground would be yelling in Spanish as they played on then slides and swings. I remember many kids talking about Lent and Catholic services which I thought was weird. I only knew Mormonism at that point in my life but I knew other people were different. The majority of my peers had parents who were immigrants like my parents although some of them did not know much English.  

When I moved to Oregon I didn't see much of difference because I lived in the part of town where there were a lot of Hispanics. I remember when I was middle school there was talk in the hallways about missing school and going downtown to the capital to protest granting undocumented people licenses. When May 1st came around the school bus was empty. There were probably three or four white kids and then me. When high school came around I joined the crowd of the most Hispanic populated school. Caucasians were the minority while Hispanics where the majority. Although at this point in my life my circle of friends mostly included kids from church and band I still felt included in the McKay community because everyone else around me was Hispanic. My AP and honor courses had half and half of students. Many of my peers were first generation college students like me and were going to depend on scholarships in college because our parents were not able to afford our high education.  

Then I came to Utah. Besides the Mormon culture shock, which is very present here, I saw a minority shock. I guess I should have been expecting it more since the previous year I was being told at SOAR that being a minority at BYU is very different. (14% of the student population are minorities  It sure was different than from Salem. I sometimes was the only "brown" person in my class. I came across people who had very strong opinions about illegal immigration who would then tell me why and then I just wanted to slap them in the face because they didn't understand anything. When I took a sociology class dealing with multicultural America I saw many people who thought immigrants were ruining our country especially Hispanics because of this or that. Thankfully I had a very good teacher who taught both sides of the argument so we could be educated in both point of views. Then when the presidential election occurred the following year I was stared and looked at more because I would walk into class with my Obama 2012 button on my backpack or I will pull out my laptop with my Women for Obama sticker. I had many people ask me if I was just a  democrat due to my opinion oon immigration which I felt was very rude because they basically said "are you a democrat because you're brown." Yes my opinion of immigration is part of my liberal view but it's not a reason why I consider myself on the left side of the political spectrum. Although I will be honest Romney saying he would not sign the Dream Act  if he were to become president was when I finally decided I would not vote for him. 

The semester started this week and I sat in class as my peers walked in and I began to notice everyone walking in was white. I was feeling nervous for some reason like I stuck out which I did especially since I got really tan from band camp. In many of my classes I am the only brown one. I don't hear Spanish like I use to in elementary. I am now part of the minority rather than the majority. Many people have even assumed I was from Mexico due to the color of my skin. 

I have people who have told me I need to go back to my roots and be more Mexican. But I have other people who told me that I'm not even Mexican but that I'm white. At one point I began to question who am I? It wasn't an identity question on a spiritual level. I have already been through that but I began to question who am I within the student population. On many forms I have filled out there are two questions: If I consider myself Hispanic and what race describes me. I answer yes to considering myself as Hispanic but the only option I can fill out for race is white. So who am I? I'm Mexican American. My family is from Mexico. I come from Mexican and Spanish speaking home. My parents kept many traditions from their country but have adapted many American customs. I celebrate Thanksgiving but I celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve like other Mexicans. I don't have pioneer history coming across the trek. I have family's church history started in Mexico which then came to the United States less than 40 years ago. I still talk to my parents about their experiences of being part of a very small LDS group in Mexico. I have ancestors from Spain, Mexico and even Germany (still need to confirm that fully). I have thick brown hair and wide hips. I can understand Spanish and I like to eat spicy food. I will watch a movie in Spanish if it's playing. I look forward to Christmas because I don't only get to eat tamales but I get to make them with my family. My favorite birthday tradition is pinatas which I will have for my children. I have brown skin that is darker than my peers. So who am I? I am a  Mexican American. 

      

"born of goodly parents..."

I have challenged myself to read the Book of Mormon once through before the start of the fall semester. It's going to be a lot of reading but I know I can do it. As I read the Book of Mormon over and over again I read things, understand things, and have reveled things unto me that I have not seen before. It's amazing how the Spirit works when you're in tune. 

As I began reading I was stuck on the first verse, 1 Nephi 1:1 which reads " I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days."

I read it again but the beginning went like this, "I, [Celia], having been born of goodly parents, there I was taight somewhat in all the learning of my [parents]". Now "goodly" can mean wealth and Nephi did come from a well off home but I read it more than just material wealth. I read the word "goodly" as richness of the gospel. I began to reflect upon my own life as a daughter of my parents, of my parents faith and sacrifice, and of the person I have become and striving to become due to my parents teachings. My faith began with my parents. They taught me what faith was before anything else. You can say my testimony of the gospel began with their teachings. It began in the home. My parents have taught me many things that have kept me going through the years.

One thing they have taught me was the power of prayer. Ever since I could remember we had family prayer every night kneeling around their bed. Every night we took turns saying the prayer. We all basically said the same things, we said thanks for the day and asked to watch over each family member. Now that I am far from home and don't have family prayer I make sure to include those basic things in my prayers. I always ask Heavenly Father to watch over my family. I guess you can say I do out of habit but it's something I sincerely mean. 

Another things my parents have taught me has been in times of trial and hardships the best thing to do is turn to the Lord. My parents have had their fair share of trials over the years, big and small. Although I may have not understood them at the time I knew my parents faced them with faith in the Lord. As I look back I see how their actions reflected on their trust in the Lord. During this past school year I had to look back on my parents' example of their faith and trust in the Lord and I continue to follow their example. Times will become harder but I know putting my trust in the Lord everything will turn out to be okay.

Even though I'm not living at home I still look toward my parents' teachings to get through this crazy/hard/insane/interesting/random/fun life. All they have taught me has never gone to waste or wasn't something I needed. Far from home they still teach me. I will never stop learning from my parents. 

 

Some Go Young

Recently a fellow peer of mine passed away. He was hiking the Y mountain and had a tragic accident. He was only 22 years old. We were both members of the Cougar Marching Band. Despite not being in the same section and only being members of the same band it still saddens me. The marching band is a family to me away from my family while I am in Utah so something likes this really hits me. I remember him always smiling and enjoying each moment in the band. He will surely will be missed by all in the band.  

His death brought back memories and struggles I have had with death especially with the death of young people I have known. The first time I had to face the death of someone was when I was 7 years old. I remember it clearly when my mother told me my older cousin passed away. He was only 17 years old, one week away from high school graduation. I asked my mother why he died so young. At this point in my life I thought only old people died. Her response was something along the lines of "because God needed him in Heaven more than we did." For a 7 year old it helped me understand there were things to be done in Heaven after one had passed away. At that point in my life I didn't fully understand what happened after death but my mother's answer would be something I would and will refer to in the years to come.

Many young people have died, young people who wouldn't get to experience many of life experiences. When I was 15 years I had to deal with this again. Someone who I grew up in primary passed away and he as well was only 17 years old. At this point I felt anger toward God because He let someone so young die without experiencing so many things in life. I was wondering why he would let this young man along with other youth and children who die so young. I began to question this a lot. I went back to the answer my mother gave me years before, "because God needed [them] in Heaven more than we did." Sometimes we don't know what God has in store for each one of yes. He has a bigger plan that we can't understand. He doesn't forget about any of His children. The Plan of Salvation exists for all. No one is lost after death, no matter how long they live during this mortal state. The blessings of the Gospel gives one hope and a peace of mind.  

Yes at first I was feeling, "why God, why?" But I remembered what my mother told me, "because God needed him in Heaven more than we did." My prayers go out to his family. He is playing the French horn in Heaven for all to hear and preaching the Word of God to many.  

"Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of  happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow." Alma 40:11-12 

Two Years? Almost.

In about a couple of weeks it would have been two years since I graduated high school. In August it would have been two years since I moved to Utah and started college. In October  it would be two years since I learned the reality but ignored it for months. 

Two years ago I wrote in my journal and how I felt, "I’m scared like I have never been in my life. This fear isn't because it’s dark or it’s a huge spider but because I’m growing up and I have to leave. Don’t get me wrong I want to go to college and get a higher education but there’s a part of me that doesn't want me to leave." As I look back I was scared when I got here. I wrote in September 2011, "Well I’m at college. It’s weird to say that out loud or to write it down. I am in college Me, Celia Rivera, attends college. Everything has been happening so fast. To be honest it’s a bit scary how fast it has been going by. I mean three months ago I was in high school, living at home and surrounded by people I have known for a while. Now I am living in a different state, with people who I have never met before and going to a top private religious university." Oh what a scared freshman I was but I had nothing to worry about. I was prepared well enough to get through two years. Now who knows how many more years I have left here but I have new fears. As time goes on I see my old fears as lame and dumb. More like "really Celia, really?" I'm probably going to say the same thing about how I'm feeling now 5 years from now. 

The move to Utah brought about many changes. I had to learn without my parents, manage my own money, and make my own decisions. One of the biggest decision I had to do was letting go of someone in my life. For months I struggled with the the decision and the possible consequences. I thought I knew the world at 18 years old but I didn't. Heck I still don't know anything and I'm almost 20 (wow I'm almost 20, let me ponder that for a minute.....) I should have realized I was having a person in my life who was not pushing me to complete my life goals but that was due to the fact we didn't view things in the same way. I don't want to speak ill of him because he wasn't a bad person at all. I learned a lot from him but he wasn't helping me pursue my goals. Letting him go was probably the hardest thing during my first year of college but it was my smartest decision. Of course I didn't know it then but now as I see the consequences of my decision I am pleased with my choice. Sometimes we just have to have a little faith. 

What else have these two years taught? Life isn't always going to be easy. There are going to be road blocks at times. We are always going to have challenges big and small. I have learned a lot about life and about myself these past two years. I'm not a completely different person but I have changed since that high school senior. One thing that has changed has been my way to approach my goals. I guess at the time I didn't think my goals mattered that much because it would be a "long" before I accomplished them. But I had a wake up call. It's time to act now for those goals. I have two more years (more or less) of school left. Marriage is one of my goals which would happen eventually but I have to prepare spiritually and mentally now. It's never to early to prepare for what's coming life even if I don't know what's coming. Does that make sense?

Next week I'm going to attend my little sister's high school graduation. I can't believe she is going to finish high school. I remember when she was a freshman and I was a junior. Time has really flown by. She is going to be entering a new chapter in her life. I just hope she is ready for what's coming. College life is hard at times. Being away from family is probably the hardest. Feeling alone on a college campus is the scariest thing I have experienced. I hope she can overcome those challenges awaiting her.

These past two years have gone by so fast. A lot has happened, good and bad. I am waiting for more years to come by and new experiences to occur. 

How About We Just Love Everyone

In recent weeks the semester end. I moved to a new apartment. Started working more hours every week. Got a second "mini" job. Had my carpet replaced. And now I am back to discussing my life on the internet. I am determined to blog more this summer. Maybe something exciting will happen this summer but I highly doubt it. 

I heard a song on the radio a while back that really caught my attention. Not because of the catchy beat but what was being said. Macklemore along with Mary Lambert said exactly what I have been feeling in the song "Same Love."

We live in a world today where discrimination happens. People get hurt because of words people say. Sadly there is violence involved too. I wish we could just live in a world where everyone can have the same rights. Despite race, color, sexual orientation, and gender. I have experienced discrimination and rude comments due to my skin color and I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I'm going to be honest I was one of those people back in high school to say "that's so gay." Surprisingly when I am came to BYU I realized how much that could hurt others. I realized despite how you love you're a person, a person that deserves the same rights as everyone else. I think people deserve to love who they want. 


Recently the Boy Scouts of America lifted their ban on openly gay boys. Let me tell you I am happy that youth boys will all be given the same opportunity if they desire to participate in the organization. No one should be turned away because of who they are in the inside. This is one step closer to being fair to all. 

"Love is patient. Love is kind."